Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
