So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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