dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
