is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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