I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
