But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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