Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
