I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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