I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
