My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
