you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
