So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
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