Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
