Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
