did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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