Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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