remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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