so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
