I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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