yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
