Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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