my sisters under your porch take her home
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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