your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Let's get the cat blown out
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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