it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
