Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
