Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize