im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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