theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
