Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
