brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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