google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
