I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
