ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
