oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
