I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
