I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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