WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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