On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize