so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
