Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
