all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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