It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
