what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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