Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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