even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
