i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
