i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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