You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
