shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
