Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well you can't waste a boner
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't turn off my feet"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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