I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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