Its about making memories worth repressing
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
