So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
