If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
