Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
