i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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