For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
