You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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