I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
