Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
