she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.