we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
