I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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